Tuesday 13 January 2015

17 Alternative Gerrard Memories

Anyone a bit sick of the Gerrard stuff yet? Nope, me neither. Like most who work in sport, I get through a phenomenal amount of Sky Sports News each day and I'm still not yet irritated by loop after loop of Olympiakos, Istanbul or the absurd banana strike against Middlesbrough. However, if you are finding it all a bit tedious - here are 17 (one from each season) alternative memories of the greatest Red I ever did see:

1998-99 - The Subbed-Sub

Steven Gerrard holds plenty of records, but has anyone checked whether he boasts the quickest voluntarily subbed-sub in history? He replaced an injured Steve McManaman 25 minutes into another one of those 90s thrillers against Newcastle, but despite a one-man advantage (Didi was sent off for the Barcodes), the Reds fell behind. Gerrard was hooked at half time for fellow academy graduate Davey Thompson, and although the Toon would score again just after the break, the Kop sucked in four goals and the three points.

1999-00 - A Highbury Cameo

A 1-0 win at Highbury in 2000 provided the perfect cameo of the early Steven Gerrard: In 33 minutes, a sumptuous match-winning pass for Titi Camara, a heart-stopping, out-of-nowhere, goal-saving tackle at the feet of Freddie Ljungberg, before back problems caused by growing issues forced him out the game. Mercifully, his fitness problems would soon subside for a decade.

2000-01 - Bossing Vieira

Gerrard often cities Vieria as an idol and a player who frightened him in his early years, referring specifically to the runaround the Frenchman gave him in Cardiff before Michael Owen committed daylight robbery on the way to the 2001 Treble. Six months previous, a match took place that rarely gets mentioned by Liverpool's occasionally insecure captain. A 4-0 win against a side as fine as Arsene Wenger's turn-of-the-century Gunners is not recalled as often as it should. Gerrard scored a beautifully controlled volley early on, and proceeded to give the Arsenal skipper all the ammunition for revenge later in the season with the sort of stunning all-action performance that, even though it was for the best, I missed under Benitez.



2001-02 - The most underrated goal of all time

I implore you to watch Danny Murphy's winning goal at Old Trafford in 2002. We should always saviour long-range screamers, spectacular volleys and flowing counter attacks - but lets face it, they happen somewhere in England every weekend. This is why I love Murphy's goal. Its utter uniqueness. Gerrard carves out a pass that is never on, one which is worth a thousand missed Hollywood-balls, and Murphy delivers a cracking flick over Barthez from 10 yards. And you thought Sturridge's lob was audacious? As Martin Tyler said at the time - "the pass was so good, it told Murphy how to finish it." Quite right.

2002-03 - Hauled off for Diao

A rare negative memory here - and its a real downer. Gerrard's Liverpool career entered a bizarre crossroads in 2002 and things rather bottomed out in Basel. A must-win Champions League match and the number 17 was being replaced at half time by that go-to man, Salif Diao. The Reds came from 3-0 down to draw 3-3 (one for the stattos - we are just as good without Stevie, right?) - though it wasn't enough to qualify for the next stage.

2003-04 - Captain Fantastic

Ah, the rarely seen Gerrard left-footed belter. Steven is by no-means a one-footed player, and indeed is a fine finisher inside the box with his weaker peg, but he rarely tries one from distance on his left side. So this low, skidding volley against Levski Sofia in 2004, one of his first goals as captain, is a particular favourite. I also love the celebration with Houllier, a show of support for his mentor who was soon to be on his way out. He was becoming a leader.

2004-05 - Not The Biggest Derby Ever

The 2005 Merseyside Derby at Anfield was billed as the biggest of the Premier League era, as a playoff for the Champions League. As is the case when the stakes are raised in a derby - Liverpool won. But it turned out not to matter as the Blues finished above us anyway, and then Istanbul went and overshadowed everything ever, and we've all gone and forgotten it. Gerrard scored a smart free kick, shaping to whack it and passing it neatly inside the post before Garcia made it 2-0. The Reds then lost three players to injury in the first half, Milan Baros to a red card in the second,  and with Luis Garcia hobbling on one leg for most of the second half during which Tim Cahill halved the deficit. The captain pulled us through, and instigated a post-match huddle. Sounds familiar.



2005-06 - Total Network Solutions

Gerrard's first game after turning down Chelsea, and the first of a Footballer of the Year campaign that would end with that West Ham goal. It started with a shy and embarrassed-looking Steven (he graduated from Stevie to Steven that season) scoring a hatrick in a Champions League qualifier against TNS, complete with Kop left-footer from outside the box, and not a single smile all night. He felt he owed us something. By the end of 05-06, we owed him everything. He'd always have us.

2006-07 - Forgotten genius

When you've scored over 150 goals, at least one in every major cup final, plenty of pile-drivers, last-gasp winners and big-game moments, its easy to forget those random moments of early-kick-off genius that make everything okay. A lunch-time cruise at The Valley on a chilly December Saturday against a woeful Charlton, two goals and three points already in the bag. No atmosphere. Just get it done and get home. And then we all had something to remember. Gerrard latches onto Crouch's knockdown and assessed the options, before a nifty shift of feet and deftly despatching the ball into the top corner, with a hybrid curl-chip strike. Delightful.

2007-08 - Headers

It is said of a lot of great players who score a lot of great goals, that heading is their weakness. It was often said of Raul, but if you actually go back and watch his goals, he'll score some splendid headers of all different kinds; thumpers, glancers, poached flickers and so on. He was better at heading than 90% of other footballers, but this gets missed because he was such a slick finisher with his feet. Gerrard is similar. Besiktas away in 2008 turned out to be in vain, but its a ridiculous diving header in an attempt to rescue a draw. Have a look.

2008-09 - Atletico Salvo

Liverpool were so good in 08-09 that Gerrard wasn't too often forced into the one-man-shows that Rafa Benitez felt so conflicted by. However, at home to Atletico Madrid he had to take matters into his own hands as a turgid Liverpool were heading for defeat. Neither team nor skipper could manufacture a shooting position on the edge of the box and the seconds were ticking down. So Stevie won the most absurdly-won penalty the Kop has seen - and Steve Heighway got a few dodgy ones in the 70s. Its almost beyond description. There was no danger. Repeat, there was no danger.  A ball harmlessly dropping from the sky in the most harmless spot in one corner of the box, and Gerrard saw his final opportunity. Sheer determination to get to the ball first and induce contact in the area. He sticks the pen away with ease and the Reds all but qualify. Nice.



2009-10 - Showboating against Stoke

Not one for a stepover - but Gerrard does occasionally frequent the showboat. A fabulous half-turn on the half-volley leads to Dirk Kurt scoring a third in a 4-0 win. Worth watching.

2010-11 - Missing on purpose

Gerrard became a very reliable penalty taker as the years went by, but his worst ever spotkick came rather inexplicably at Ewood Park in 2010, and it was quickly followed by Roy Hodgson's P45. He didn't though, did he?

2011-12 - Back from injury

Off the bench at home to Newcastle to score a decent solo goal and secure a 3-1 win. Not the type of goal that will make many Gerrard compilations due to the lack of drama and dodgy goalkeeping, but memorable for the celebration of a man who'd been struggling with groin injuries that he'd later reveal would nearly end his career and cause him ripping self-doubt.

2012-13 - Favourite Opposition

All players have them, and Gerrard loved to rub it into the Holte End. He has scored 13 goals against Aston Villa in his career, including this second half penalty that earned the Reds three points in the spring of 2013. He followed it with a headed clearance off the line to make sure. Not bad for a player who was by-now being written off by even plenty of his own apparent fans.

2013-14 - The Greatest Goal That Never Was

Oh, how I wish this one had gone in. This would have been the goal to end all goals. What was he even thinking in trying it? Luis Suarez had scored four corkers, but Gerrard almost stole a share of the headlines with a 270-degree twist and left-footed flick which sent John Ruddy to Hong Kong as the ball headed for California, and agonisingly clipped off the post. Its the first time that Goal of the Season should've gone to a miss.

2014-15 - Facing the demons

Gerrard could've packed football in after the World Cup in Brazil. Its hard to think of a footballer who shouldered so much responsibility and suffered so much personal sporting heartbreak in the spring and summer of 2014. Three games into the new season and Penaltypool win their first spot kick, and it would've been easy for Gerrard to hide. He could've passed it to Balotelli, hungry for his first goal and with a near-perfect penalty record. He's facing the league's second-best shot-stopper. He's been the laughing stock of the meme-go-round since the slip and the last thing he needed was twelve yards and a zoomed camera. There are so many reasons to doubt, and so many reasons to allow self-pity to take over. He looks concerned. Doesn't he always? Gerrard puts it away and blows a kiss to the away end, with a brief fist pump that says, "I'm here, and I'm still trying for you." 

Top, top man.






Friday 2 January 2015

Dissecting the Opposition's Gerrard Obsession

After sixteen years and almost 700 games, Steven Gerrard knows the script. If you aren't familiar, take the time to peruse your fan song-sheet on the back of your seat and locate track two, just after the compulsory post kick-off rendition of "your support is fucking shit." Welcome to your average English football stadium - you'll find more original versions at a Westlife concert.



On this occasion, a match at Anfield between Liverpool and those bitter rivals from...erm...Swansea City, he wasn't even playing. Yet while going through first-half stretching exercises as a substitute, Gerrard generously offered a smile of acknowledgement to those who'd spent upwards of a ton to travel to Merseyside on a chilly post-Christmas night, to sing about him slipping over in a football match that had absolutely no impact on them whatsoever.

Gerrard is used to the 'que sera sera' adaptations by strangers supporting stranger clubs, and not least because its the tune of one our own songs for the captain. Whether its about his passing, his better than Frank Lampard-ness, his wife, children, birthplace or falling over, and whether he or Liverpool are even playing that day, you will hear it being sung at some point on Match of the Day each Saturday.

The nature of the opposition's obsession with Gerrard is a curiously negative one. He's been a great player, even a captain of England and a relatively inoffensive one. There's been the odd transgression, but he's never bitten an opponent or fly-kicked a paying supporter in the face, nor he is he a particularly serial simulator, adultorer, or one to tediously feign an injury.

His brilliance with a football means he'll score against you quite a lot, although I wasn't aware that this alone was something to hate so enduringly. Furthermore, unless you dish out some severe stick to him first and you happen to be one of Liverpool's historical rivals (sorry, Swansea), then despite a thirty-yard thunderbolt in the last minute you're unlikely to face an ear-cupping or a 'ssshhhh.' He'll be too busy running to his own adoring supporters. The way it should be

So why the negative obsession? Why will 2nd January 2015 go down as the best day to be a shareholder in the meme business, in stark contrast to the week of deserved eulogies we witnessed for Thierry Henry recently?

There is this:

Liverpool have rarely been very good of late. Since 1990, in fact. You've probably noticed. Since Liverpool were last kings of English football, sixteen different teams have finished above us. Even now the top division has split into tightly concealed mini-leagues, entry to which clubs risk their future existence and prioritise above winning cups, Newcastle (where Gerrard is routinely booed) have finished above LFC in a quarter of Premier League seasons. Last term's second place halted a run of four consecutive summers looking up at Spurs. QPR, Sheffield Wednesday, West Ham - even Everton have managed it three times.

There are plenty of teams who feel, and perhaps rightly, that they've been toe-to-toe with Liverpool for long enough to demand some respect, a share of column inches and some complimentary midfielder comparisons. Some have got the better of us enough times to warrant consideration as our equals.

But then, there is this:

When a team loses fourteen league games in a season, yet comes from 0-3 down to snatch the most magical of European Cup victories - WHEN DJIMI TRAORE TOOK ON PAOLO MALDINI AND WON - it is Liverpool.

When a team is outplayed in the FA Cup Final and throws on Jan Krompamp as its final roll of the dice, but still comes from two goals down to win on penalties - it is Liverpool.

When a team not good enough to challenge for their own league title wins three cup competitions in the same season, something you've never seen before and likely won't again - it is Liverpool.

When that mediocre bunch finishes seventh, then wallops top-of-the-league FIVE-ONE, scores 100 goals, wins 11 straight through the business end of the season to go within a whisker of being the first team in 30 years to win the league after finishing outside the top-six - it is, somehow, Liverpool.

It can only be Liverpool - and it can only be Steven Gerrard.



Even Arsenal, despite two league and cup doubles and an unbeaten (unbeaten!) season, have been unable to shake us off, and have taken an increasing and unreciprocated dislike to us and Gerrard. Seeing Igor Biscan's Liverpool finish 25 points below but win the Champions League they've had 17 consecutive pops at, as our hero remains loyal while theirs routinely join Barcelona or one of the Manchester clubs, has taken its toll.

Steven Gerrard has allowed us to see glories that fans of so many other teams feel they are entitled to, and cannot comprehend how Liverpool have pulled it off again.

However, for two weeks in the spring of 2014, something bizarre happened; Liverpool and Gerrard very briefly ceased to be the laughing stock of English football.

The image of the number 8 urging his teammates in an impromptu huddle to "go again" at Norwich after a sanity-sapping win over Man City, is now the backdrop to football's recycled joke circuit. However, at that precise moment, fans all over the country (with the obvious exceptions) wanted that to be their captain, doing that on their pitch.  For a fortnight, Gerrard could've walked into any stadium in the country to a standing ovation. He was English football's saviour, its darling, and we shared him with you for a touch over 300 hours.



When the final whistle blew against City, Gerrard abandoned football's PR rulebook and became exactly how we, as fans, envisage we would behave on the pitch at that moment. Sobbing into his red sleeve, he put his reputation on the line with the on-camera rallying cry. The official message may be one game at a time, that the title wasn't a consideration for a team that failed to qualify for Europe 11 months earlier - but with 44,000 other fans going bananas around him, Gerrard only knew one way.

He represented everything that fans yearn to see each week, even more than the goals and the performances, the Istanbul 05s and Cardiff 06s; turning down wealthier contracts from better teams to withstand wretched owners, bitter infighting, biting, beach balls, outrageous signings and defeats ranging from the agonising to embarrassing and beyond. All this, for the love and honour of playing for the team he supported as a boy.

In the next 13 days, my phone and social media were awash with messages of support for the Reds, and in particular admissions that Steven Gerrard deserved this league title. They hoped we won it for him. Unfortunately cruel fate determined it wasn't to be, and never would be, and most of those supporters quickly reverted to type.

Not winning the league was a low point for Gerrard. For all of us. But at this juncture, his leaving of Liverpool, it only adds to his legend. The slip against Chelsea can happen to anyone, anywhere. Just ask John Terry. But the 13 goals and 13 assists from a defensive midfield position that preceded the cruel misfortune, that is a different story.

Liverpool thrilled us during 13-14; Suarez' pre-Christmas form was absurd, Sturridge consistently found the net with Fowleresque hunger and precision, and Sterling came of age - but it was Gerrard who dared to take Liverpool over the top. He knew time was running out for him. He knew City and Chelsea would be back to spend bigger still, United too, and that Suarez would likely be off to Spain and that we were punching gloriously above our weight all year. It was now or never. The odds were stacked against and the pain of getting close but missing out would be too much to bear - but he took us all there anyway. One last time. Craven Cottage, Upton Park, Old Trafford - penalties despatched to keep the dream on life support - then Sunderland, City, Norwich, carrying the team on his back over one marathon finishing line and onto the next.



Even in the darkest moments when the salt was being rubbed into the wounds, he was lifting a dejected Luis Suarez onto his feet at Selhurst Park rather than feeling sorry for himself. What a captain. What a privilege to watch him living our dreams and helping us get through the nightmares.

Finally, before I am battered with questions about seeing "Slippy G winning the league," remember that he is not finished just yet. If he does, as most suspect, join the MLS, hopefully he can win five successive league titles and finally be considered on a par with John O'Shea before he hits 40. Then he will command some modicum of begrudging respect from those who have written the criteria on judging greatness.

But if you are unable to muster any admiration, then I can only sympathise. You've missed out on something really special, something that will become increasingly rare in football, to the point you may not ever see it again.

As he would say with a squeak, sniffle and a shrug - "all the best."